Forsaken
by Skye Crystal
Summary: Donatello is waiting for his brothers. They will come, won't they? Inspired by Enolianslave's comic, Rescue.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : I don't own TMNT, and the plot has been inspired by the wonderful comic of Enolianslave, "Rescue". Here is a little gift for her !

Thanks to Shelly who helps me again with the grammar and bet-read this one for me ! It will be a little story in wo chapters. Been inspired, as I said, by Enolianslave's comic, especially the scrap "Forsaken." I was listening to the music "Evacuating London" (from Narnia OST) when I saw it, and my heart twitched, and I needed to write this. Hope you'll like it, let me know ! )

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Forsaken

It hurts. Hurts. That's the only thing I can think about... I**'**ve reached my limits, at least I have this impression. I don't even know how long I have been here; I've lost count of the days... These days which have pass by, an infinite punishment for an error that I'mnow paying. _He_ got me, and I became _his_ toy, _his_ broken toy, one of _his_ to beat, to control without pity. These beasts _he_ opposes me, everyday, tirelessly. Deprived of my weapon and with bound hands, I must call all my abilities to save myself, to going through these fights. Starved and manhandled beasts. I'm starved, too. So weak. I'm an animal, I smell like prey; it's just because of survival instinct they act this way. It's just because of survival instinct I fight. I just had to. Survival.

But I'm askingmyself if I'm not giving up, also...

I'm shaking. I'm scared. In the beginning, I simply striked back, convinced it was just a question of time. I knew they would come for me, to take me away from this. We don't leave one of us behind. I believed in my brothers, and _he_ could tell me whatever _he_ wanted, I didn't care. I was so sure it was only lies. Another torturing scheme that didn't work. _He_ didn't know anything, I did. And I kept holding on, proud and insolent, thinking that if _he_ was destroying my body a few every day, my mind wasn't affected by _his_ poisoned words. _He_ could say whatever _he_ wanted, to raise my wounds, to kick my hurting body. _He_ will see.

So I waited. Waited. For a friendly voice to wake up me from this nightmare, that someone would take away these chains from my blooded wrists. I waited for someone to come... until I give up every hope.

I fired on this bars so many times, in vain, and now I hang on it weakly, to remember that it's really there, that I'm really locked, that I don't have any chance to escape. To remember my prisoner condition, this silliness in me for believing, to remember my stupidity. Just for that.

The time passes by, and nobody comes. _He'_s right. I'm fool. And alone. I had faith in my brothers, and this trust helped me to hold on. But _he'_s right. They aren't really coming, now. And my heart is more hurt than my body...

I can't take it anymore... I**'**ve reach my limits, physically and mentally. _He_ wants to destroy me, and _he_ manages. Tonight, the last barrier that kept _him_ away had been broken. I deserved it.

I had been too arrogant, too self-confident, and I fell, alone. I deserved what is happening to me. I didn't have to hope for them to come. It was my error, and I was selfish to hope they get themselves involved in all this. It wasn't their fight, it was me who had to pay the consequences.

_He_ can do whatever _he_ wants of me, now, nothing is important anymore. Because my calls stayed without an answer, my faith had been dangerously crumbled, like dust. It hurts...

My aching muscles scream in agonies, on this cold and hard floor, and even breath has become difficult. The pain is the only thing that reminds me I'm alive, though it hurts so bad I could die.

But my bruises are nothing compared with my broken mind. I'm cold. As if the Death roamed all around me, waiting for take me away with an ice-cold kiss. And I'm not strong enough anymore to push it away. I can't even hear the screams from there; I don't hear any noise anymore. I'm alone, and this artificial and too strong light will be the only witness of my abandonment. I feel like I'm drowning in a flood, and no one is there to take my hand. It's really this feeling. Under the water, we can't hear anything, and I don't try to surface, I let myself sink, and no one will come to take my head out of the water.

Maybe it's better this way. If they were to come, it would be my whole family who would fall in this trap. I put them all in danger, because of my too big pretention. Yes. It's better like this.

At least it's what I try to convince myself, in vain, then I feel myself diverting. I'm exhausted. I didn't have to hope... I shouldn't been so hurt. This pain, I imposed it onto myself. They're not really coming...

And the tears which make my cheeks dirty are not caused by my injuries.

Forsaken.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer : Still not mine. Geez.

Note : So sorry for being late !! I posted it on DeviantArt and totally forgot about !!

There is noise, outside. A little too much, to this hour of the night. Is it the night ? I don't know anymore... I had been forced to be sit, and my wrists are skinned by my own weight, firing on my chains... I don't know what's happening. Sounds, confused, are echoing inside my head. Oh, stop it... Noises, screams, a loud kick making to vibrate the cage all around me. Let me alone... I can feel someone coming up inside, but I'm barely conscious of myself. Open up my eyes would be a torture. I can't...

"Donatello ?"

My name. Someone said my name... Or it's me and my fantasies ? No one called me like that for days...which is an eternity when you grew up with three brothers. And doing this, _he'_s trying to steal my identity as well. But does he know it really ? Does he only know my name ? I don't know... So, who could it be who pronounced it ?

"Hold still, Don."

This voice... Is it simply possible ? This voice who is pronoucing these friendly words, comforting, this voice and these words I've wished to hear of all my heart, even when I had lost faith... Is my pain so strong that I'm becoming mad until I hear voices ? Yeah, that must be that...I heard them so often in my dreams ; I had to fall asleep...

Another kick. Metal against metal. Suddenly, I'm not conscious of my own weight anymore. The chain had broken, and I fall, pulled by my own mass. I'm going to kick the floor... But no. Something...someone gets me, helds me firmly but with the sweetest gentleness of the world. I can recognize this skin between a thousand, this texture so peculiar between vinyl and flesh , this skin that only four people have in the whole world, of whom I. But still, I don't want to believe it. _Forsaken_. I repeat this word over and over again to remember it. All of this is a dream, just a dream...

Words are saying again, another voice joins the first, and a second skin touches mine. Slowly, they get me on my shaking legs, that I almost don't feel anymore. I even don't have enough force to keep my head up. I'm hurt, so hurt... But...we can't feel the pain in a dream, can we ?

What's follow is fluzzy. They force me to move, and the pain is such, for me who had been imobilized for so long, that I can barely think about anything else. Except this touch on my skin. Even if I try to convince myself, the idea imposes by itself in my mind, without I can do anything. It's them. It's them, and they came for me. They finally came... To take me far away of this place, far away from these chains, from these beasts, from_ him_. I wished that so much times that I can't believe it... But it's real.

They laid me down preconsciously. I hear another voice, excited and worried at the same time.

_Mikey..._

The vehicle starts brutaly, but whatever, as long as I run away from here.

Someone puts a wet tissue on my forehead, and I could cry. But only a weak moan that I can't hold back leaves my throat. Another voice speaks, to myself only, this time. A comforting voice.

"It's okay Don, you're safe."

_Leo..._

Now I know I'm safe, my muscles relax and start to shake, uncontrolled. Damn, it hurts ! But I begin to take conscious of the world around me again. I try to open up my eyes. Once. Twice. Even is the ligh is weak, it seems to me it's going to blind me. A third voice raises up. Angry, almost hateful... and worried.

_Raph._

Summon up my last forces, I manade to stand on my elbows, and look Raph in the eyes. I don't want he puts himself in danger because of me, I don't want it ! And if I have to use my last energy for that, then I'll do it.

"You gotta promise me Raph... Promise me you won't do anythin... like..."

"Oh sure thing Don, I pinky promise, alright ?"

"_Pinky_ ? Oh, ok,so..." I'm doubtful, but I can't continue. Leo catch me while my arms can't stand me anymore. But Raphael's reaction make me take a decision. I have to protect them...

I managed to sit down, hardly. My legs against my chest, I rest my cheek on my knees, moving the less I can to not open again my wounds. I feel... empty. I never thought about doing what I did before. I destroyed it, put it down in dust... I never thought I could be capable of it, but thinking about the consequences if I didn't do it, I didn't hesitate. And still, it was its fault. I hated it so much.

But it doesn't stop anything. My brothers are here, with me, and we ran away from the lair for more safety. Has my gesture been in vain, if we're still all in danger ? My fingers clenched, and I feel even more miserable.

"Don ?"

I barely raise up my head while Leo comes near to me, worry written on his face. Gosh, how I hate to be the origine of this expression... He kneels beside me, almost unsure, like he's worried to hurt me.

"Are you okay ?"

"M'fine..."

My throat is dry, and I lie, but I don't want him to worry even more. It's my fault, my fight. They don't have to be worried for me... Even if I know it's like that, I don't want them to be because of my stupid mistake, because I had could avoid all that...

"What's happened, there ?"

Leo's voice is only a gentle whisper, and I clenched my hands around my knees a little more, while memories of the last days came back in my mind. Ugh... The horror come back in my throat, and I feel nauseous. So I don't say anything. If I tell, I know very well that I'll only stir up their need of revenge, and I don't want them in danger more than they already are. If something happens, I won't be able to live with. If something happens, I... The idea makes me feel sicker than the memories. I can't.

Leo puts his hand on my knee, slightly.

"You don't want to tell me how all that happened ?"

I close my eyes firmly, and shake slowly my head. No. No !! I don't want !! I don't want anymore to see them worried, I don't want to know they are in danger, I don't want to see them angry because of me. I hate me !! I want to be alone against that ! I want... _You're lying to yourself_. Of course. But I don't want. Don't want to see them suffer.

I hear Leo sighes weakly.

"Rest a little. You need it. It's okay, Donnie. It's okay..."

His voice is only a whisper now, a lullaby, while he checks my pulse and put gently a hand on my forehead. The need to sleep begin to run all over my body, carrying me away with my guilt in a comforting darkness.If only I'd could avoid my mistake...

Because of me.


End file.
